


Bad Habit

by sil_s



Category: Bumilangit Cinematic Universe
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Ganda babie you deserve better, Ghazul stop being an asshole challenge, I'm sorry for this, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-31 20:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21253043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sil_s/pseuds/sil_s
Summary: Ghazul and Ganda are colleagues with benefits, but Ganda wants more.
Relationships: Ghani Zulham (Ghazul)/Ganda Hamdan, Ghazul/Ganda
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Bad Habit

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at writing angst. please be nice. :(

It’s just another Saturday morning where Ganda wakes up next to Ghazul. Just like another Saturday morning, Ganda stares at the man sleeping next to him. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. To be fair, Ghazul always manages to look peaceful and calm in every situation, a skill that he has mastered over the years. It always fascinates the older man.

Ganda almost stretches his arm to caress the other man’s soft face, but he hesitates. He remembers how Ghazul always insists that they shouldn’t touch each other outside sex, just to make the boundary very clear. Deep down, Ganda regrets that he ever agreed to that term, but it’s too late; they have been in this arrangement for at least three months now.

Then, just like another Saturday morning, Ganda picks up his clothes and slips out of his boss’ house quietly. He heads from Ghazul’s house to his own without a kiss. Let alone a kiss, he has never even received a ‘be careful’ or a ‘see you later’. _Is that too much to ask for?_ The grip on the steering wheel is becoming tighter as he stops by the red light. The sound of car horn wakes him up from his train of thoughts.

* * *

“Ganda, malam ini kamu kosong, kan?” Ganda knows the implication of this question. He knows Ghazul is going to ask him to drive Ghazul to his place. He knows they are going to get on each other by the time the door closes. But, he knows, he _knows_ they are going to act like nothing has happened in the next day until Friday night comes again.

“Selalu, Pak,” Ganda answers, knowing all too well.

“Antar saya pulang, ya.”

Ganda is right, the rest of the night goes as he expected.

* * *

Ganda wakes up in another Saturday morning. He stares at Ghazul again, studying all the small details in his face so the next time Ganda daydreams about Ghazul, it will be accurate. Ganda doesn’t know what has gotten into him, but his hand is reaching for Ghazul’s face. He lays a gentle finger on the cheek and trails it down through his lips.

Another hand reaches out to stop Ganda, it’s Ghazul’s. “Ganda,” he warns as he brings Ganda’s hand down and put it beside him. Ghazul’s eyes slowly open and they feel like a stab to Ganda because of how sharp they are. “Jangan.”

There’s definitely sadness in Ganda’s heart, but little does he know he has been holding some frustration and rage inside him too. Ganda has tried to hold it for so long, but now feels like a good time to burst it all out. “Kenapa kamu gak mau sama saya?”

The words come suddenly that they make Ghazul raise his eyebrow. He sits up from his position and leans his back against the pillows. That man _chuckles_. “Kamu ini kenapa?”

Ganda furrows his eyebrows and follows Ghazul by sitting up. “Sampai kapan kita mau begini, Ghani?” _Ghani_, the name Ghazul only wants to be referred during sex, but it’s the name that makes Ganda feels intimate with the man in front of him.

The look on Ghazul’s face says that he’s trying to arrange the words smoothly so he won’t regret whatever comes out of his mouth. Ghazul is always like that, he’s always been cautious with his words. He just shakes his head then starts picking up his clothes. “Sampai kamu mau mengakhiri.” Ghazul knows Ganda too well, he knows Ganda will never be able to end things. Ghazul already has a place inside Ganda and has been taking advantages of it over the months. He just smirks as he gets out of his room, leaving Ganda alone with his thoughts.

* * *

It’s Friday now. Ganda has been repeating Ghazul’s words in his head like a broken tape. _Sampai kamu mau mengakhiri. _He’s been in a dilemma for a week. There are bags under his eyes from not getting enough sleep. Part of him wants to end it, but Ghazul has gotten too close that it makes it hard to let him go. There are times Ganda speaks to himself in his room, imagining how today’s conversation with Ghazul will be like.

“Ganda.” A familiar voice calls for him. Of course Ganda knows who it belongs to, Ghazul.

This is it. Ganda has to end things. He has to cut Ghazul off his life for he’s just a bad habit of his.

“Kamu kosong malam ini?”

Looking at Ghazul’s eyes is a mistake in the first place. The eyes that look at him lovingly or he _thinks_ lovingly, every time Ganda makes delicate noises for him. All the memories from the past months rush into his mind and all that Ganda can think about is how he _loves_ Ghazul and will do everything just to keep him close, even when the younger man only seeks for sexual pleasure from him.

“Selalu, Pak.” Ganda loathes himself.


End file.
